The Story of the Secret Beads

So the other day I met up with Teba to supposedly watch a football game in Moroto between the army and the local team, as army week is currently happening in town. The football game didn't end up taking place, but I did find myself at the bar in a late night discussion about polygamy, cheating and secret beads.

To explain the secret beads. Supposedly every girl here wears strings of beads around her waist, these beads are kept under the clothing and the only one who sees them is the chosen guy who eventually takes her clothes off. The amount of beads you have on signifies different things. To have 1 means you have never been touched, 2 means you have been ‘booked’ as the guys said, 3 means you are engaged, 4 means you are married and 5 means you are married with kids. The girls who were explaining this to me, would neither say how many beads they had on or what color, that is for that special guy to find out. An interesting concept, as it does sort of make it a bit more exciting in the sense that when you do get a girl to take her clothes off you do learn something more about her, and with knowing the colors of her beads and how many she has you are in a sense connected to each other after that.

Beads form an essential part of traditional dress here

Obviously I can't show a picture of the 'secret beads' but everywhere you go here multicolored beads are worn with pride

I always find it interesting to hear about relationships and how people go about it here, because it is so different from back home. I mean you go to the club here and people are dancing and grinding up against each other in ways you would never see at home, but other than that there is always a degree of separation between men and women. I am so used to from back home that when you do fall in love or you are beginning to date you show your love very openly, and seeing people kiss and hold hands on the street is perfectly normal and expected. Showing affection is to me a big part of being together, and I think I would struggle in a society where I’m not supposed to show these feelings. I know here a completely different world exists behind closed doors, and don’t get me wrong, that has its excitement as well, but I still prefer being able to hold hands and kiss that someone special wherever I am.

I do like the beads idea though, and I might invest in some beads here, take a little bit of culture with me.

So the other topics of the night were mostly focused on polygamy and also why it is more acceptable for a man to cheat on his wife than the other way around. These topics I never really know how to feel about. I know I am surrounded by a completely different culture and a different way of life, but I was raised to always think of marriage and relationships in the ‘normal’ form of being between one man and one woman. I am not saying that is the only way it should be, but I keep trying to picture myself in a polygamous relationship and it is just not happening. I would be way too jealous, I don’t like the concept of sharing a man, and I’m just picturing all the drama between the wives and the eventual children. I know the girls here explain it to me that the women do form a strong bond, that can be equal to that of sisters, but however open I wish I could say I was I think polygamy is where the line might be drawn for me. I think the concept I have of love makes it difficult to reason with. I know the love that I feel for one person, and the feeling I get from him reciprocating that love, and I just can’t see that in a plural form. So my conclusion on that topic, I have no problem with polygamy as long as no one ever tries to make me be in a polygamous relationship, I would be out that door and running away very fast. 

Sunsets & late night introductions to Karimojong life is proving to be my favorites here